The Relationship Deliberation

I was pondering, rather I was viciously discerning the essence of attachment, the elements of life that bind the two human. The rudiments of life that unite each and every individual on the face of this planet directly or way too much indirectly, but one thing is sure…everyone is related by blood or by feelings.

Life is in the most striking form is with the person whom you love most. It can be parents when you are young, it can be lover/beloved when you are adult and it can be your kids when you were ageing. My leading concern delegated in these few lines would be the sources that deteriorate the relationship with loved ones. It is a sinking feeling and despised by everyone. It is painful phase that has a very gradual pace to heal…unfortunately it is the only healing process no one wish to get through and revive till they actually do. It is a four way hysterical cold war, a part of which is perpetual scuffle between mind and heart and the rhetorical pretext from the other half of relationship.

In my reflection, I found judging one impulsively tends a person to carve out errors out of normal gestures by the other. An incomplete understanding of the backdrop of situation/intent/aim can make life best moments into the most miserable phases of estrangement. Trust is a primary reward among mankind and takes an elongated time stretch to ripe. Your judgment can be erroneous but other person might never had intended to break the trust. Wait for the long haul. Judge very cautiously.

It has often been observed that the generic feedback by one person is not been received very well, and almost all those often times the counter response was an attack on the first person’s personal habit or action. This very much likely causes rift between the two. Both persons in the relationship must attribute to their candidness to the feedback. After all, this is the only way you understand ‘thought spinning’ in other person’s mind. It is a rational demand for any relationship to work in positive direction. Closely on the same ground, in a situation where unintentional goof-up splashes the ground, both persons should work as a team to undo the mess rather than indulging in ‘finger facing’ at the responsible out of tiny miniscule undesirable dire channels of life.

For any relationship to foster, both persons involved should have clarity on the expectation with the other. Efforts should be made to eliminate any scope of ambiguity in relationship. It is highly desirable to accomplish your partner’s expectations. It supports from initial stage where relation broods… it helps both the persons to be aware of extent of their desirability and worth in other’s life. It can bring spice, it can bring pleasant surprises and most prominently it relieves mind from fast pumping of heart and apprehension. Moreover, it also eradicates the element of uncertainty from the relationship only giving positive outflow of a sound mind and heart …the conducive ambiance for love to blossom.

In the deteriorating sequence of relationship that closely works with the above mentioned negativity is the demand to make and feel special. It has been widely perceived that the two special people just can’t get enough of value from each other and in demand of seeking and feeling more special. The contention of forced kind never and would never steer a relationship to any level. It is morally logical to respect and expect equal. The love would always find its way, out of its regular way to surprise and delight the two mates meant to be together. Constant endeavor of one side of efforts to make the other person feel special only makes the doer feel used and receiver to take former granted. It is ethically wrong.

For any goof up and the time of life when high tide of misunderstandings really swept the peaceful shore off the hook, the ego ruins years of life that could have been boon and bed of roses for the two mates in love. The ego clasps your feelings back. No matter how stout the desire to hug urges, ego restricts human mind with a question 'Why should I’. Relationship of any sort is always team work and never one against the other. The two meant to be together should always have this zeal of being a vital part of the other. Eventually, in relationship every person changes or at least employs his best efforts to align himself with the wants of other. In this transition there are abundant times of happiness and umpteen number of undesirable phases filled with acrimony, agony and despondency. But the transition made well defines and justifies the intensity of togetherness.

Jealousy and possessiveness, the two vital part of every relationship are only positively directed but very often misunderstood. Sometimes they are not welcomed…sometimes they aren’t done well either. These feelings only erupt at the time when your share of affection goes somewhere else and was expected somewhere else.

Willingness to be together is the world’s most intense feeling no matter what works for you or not... the said intent to live a life with someone does always find its way. Life is full of ups and downs and words in argument change with mood and situation. There is no better feeling than holding your lovers hand …the way it slips down to bind into fist of the other …with utmost ease and mostly by itself…relationship should be somewhat at similar ease only to foster love and grow.

“The depth of a relationship is not only in good expressions but more in the intensity to fight against the odds and willingness to be together.”